Thursday December 1

December 1986 - the exciting news that was our Christmas gift that year was that Tammy and I were expecting our first child.   We had been married for three years, I had been blessed with a position in full-time ministry.  It looked, felt like everything was going as we had planned and hoped it would.

However, several months into her pregnancy, the routine doctors appointment gave us the unexpected.  They had found a mass - there was concern about malignancy - and even though she was pregnant, the doctor informed us that to wait was not an option.  The mass had to be removed ASAP.   

If the talk of possible malignancy was not already overwhelming - the most hopeless feeling was the day when the anesthesiologist came in to pre-op to explain that there was a great chance that the anesthesia would cause her to miscarry.  

I won't rehearse all the details here that I have relived over the past few days of the despair, the desperation, the crying out to God for answers that did not seem to come quickly.   All I will say is that in that moment, when the cold hard facts shake your faith to its core - the only thing we had to hold onto was that God was in the middle of our chaos - and that He was faithful to work even these details for our good.

The good news is that there was no malignancy.  The better news is that the anesthesia did not cause Tammy to miscarry.   That following August 27, Rebecca was born - completely and entirely healthy.  24 years later, Bec is a beautiful gracious anointed young lady.  As she has for the past 24 years, she continues to be the cause of great joy and comfort - and a daily reminder to the faithfulness of our good God.

My journaling these memories of the blessings and mercies past has caused me to relive the emotions of those chapters - but more than that it has caused me to realize how much God has always been FOR me.  And this keener fresher awareness of who He has always been and what He has already done – there are no words to express what it is doing for my faith in who He IS and what He is going to do NOW 

Father, today I thank You for turning chaos into cause for celebration

Today I thank You - that even when I have more questions than answers, You consistently are working in the details, to work everything together for my good.

I thank You that when I cannot see past the emotion of the moment, You embrace me with all my "Whys" and confirm Your presence in ways which continue to amaze me.

Today, Father, I thank you for Bec - for Your hand being upon her life, for continuing to work "all things together" for her good, and for continually confirming to both her and us that from her conception, You have etched destiny in her DNA.